Hot Best Seller

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Daughter

Availability: Ready to download

Okay, enough already. First, there was Tiger Mother. Her battle hymn joyfully sang the death knell of America and its lazy, over-indulgent parents. The “Chinese” way was the only way to parent if you wanted “success.” And mental illness. Now, there’s Bringing Up Bebe, which claims that French parents are the ones who know how this parenting thing is done. Oh, please. Come on, A Okay, enough already. First, there was Tiger Mother. Her battle hymn joyfully sang the death knell of America and its lazy, over-indulgent parents. The “Chinese” way was the only way to parent if you wanted “success.” And mental illness. Now, there’s Bringing Up Bebe, which claims that French parents are the ones who know how this parenting thing is done. Oh, please. Come on, American parents. Grow a pair! We have no reason to put ourselves down. First, the stereotype these cultural parenting books portray isn’t true. For every high-achieving Asian, there’s a just-as-high achieving Jew, WASP, Hispanic, etc. doing as well or better without the trauma of parental tyranny. As for the French, I don’t know what playgrounds Pamela Druckerman hangs out on, but I’ve spent many an afternoon on French playgrounds in Paris and beyond and I’ve seen some pretty atrociously behaved enfants. I’ll never forget being in a row boat under a lovely bridge in the Loire valley with my very well-behaved American kids. Paradise except for the French 10-year-olds pelting us and the other boaters with rocks. Listen up, American parents. We nail it. Why? Because one precept guides American parents above all that makes our country and our culture still the go-to paradigm for education, business entrepreneurship, and the arts. This one distinctly American value sets children raised the “American” way on the path to true success and happiness. The value is this: American parents praise the rebel, the dreamer, and the outcast above all else. We’re not about chasing a stereotype to fit into the old ways; we’re about standing out and finding new ways. We’re not about conforming to society’s demands for good behavior. We’re about remaking society one amazing, breathtaking, shocking risk at a time. We question everything. Even ourselves. So unlike the provincial French of Druckerman’s world or the “Chinese” of Chua’s world, we’re out to grab the best of every culture we can get our hands on. That’s why Americans raise the kind of kids who can invent Facebook, Google, and Apple. That’s why we raise the kind of kids who can write Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother or Bringing Up Bebe. Yes, those books were written by fierce, questioning, re-inventing *American* moms. Americans take the best from every culture, avoiding destructive mistakes, because we’re not culture-bound. That’s why America is still the go-to country for mad creativity, fierce independence, and daring self-direction. Want your kid to make it big? Go to France. (I know, hilarious, right?) Want your child to have a happy, fulfilling life? See you in China! (Yeah, I didn’t think so.) Want your child to be creative, independent, mentally balanced and ready to take on the world? Read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Daughter, the story of one American kid, one American mother, lots of self-doubt, and eventual triumph--the American way.

*advertisement

Compare

Okay, enough already. First, there was Tiger Mother. Her battle hymn joyfully sang the death knell of America and its lazy, over-indulgent parents. The “Chinese” way was the only way to parent if you wanted “success.” And mental illness. Now, there’s Bringing Up Bebe, which claims that French parents are the ones who know how this parenting thing is done. Oh, please. Come on, A Okay, enough already. First, there was Tiger Mother. Her battle hymn joyfully sang the death knell of America and its lazy, over-indulgent parents. The “Chinese” way was the only way to parent if you wanted “success.” And mental illness. Now, there’s Bringing Up Bebe, which claims that French parents are the ones who know how this parenting thing is done. Oh, please. Come on, American parents. Grow a pair! We have no reason to put ourselves down. First, the stereotype these cultural parenting books portray isn’t true. For every high-achieving Asian, there’s a just-as-high achieving Jew, WASP, Hispanic, etc. doing as well or better without the trauma of parental tyranny. As for the French, I don’t know what playgrounds Pamela Druckerman hangs out on, but I’ve spent many an afternoon on French playgrounds in Paris and beyond and I’ve seen some pretty atrociously behaved enfants. I’ll never forget being in a row boat under a lovely bridge in the Loire valley with my very well-behaved American kids. Paradise except for the French 10-year-olds pelting us and the other boaters with rocks. Listen up, American parents. We nail it. Why? Because one precept guides American parents above all that makes our country and our culture still the go-to paradigm for education, business entrepreneurship, and the arts. This one distinctly American value sets children raised the “American” way on the path to true success and happiness. The value is this: American parents praise the rebel, the dreamer, and the outcast above all else. We’re not about chasing a stereotype to fit into the old ways; we’re about standing out and finding new ways. We’re not about conforming to society’s demands for good behavior. We’re about remaking society one amazing, breathtaking, shocking risk at a time. We question everything. Even ourselves. So unlike the provincial French of Druckerman’s world or the “Chinese” of Chua’s world, we’re out to grab the best of every culture we can get our hands on. That’s why Americans raise the kind of kids who can invent Facebook, Google, and Apple. That’s why we raise the kind of kids who can write Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother or Bringing Up Bebe. Yes, those books were written by fierce, questioning, re-inventing *American* moms. Americans take the best from every culture, avoiding destructive mistakes, because we’re not culture-bound. That’s why America is still the go-to country for mad creativity, fierce independence, and daring self-direction. Want your kid to make it big? Go to France. (I know, hilarious, right?) Want your child to have a happy, fulfilling life? See you in China! (Yeah, I didn’t think so.) Want your child to be creative, independent, mentally balanced and ready to take on the world? Read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Daughter, the story of one American kid, one American mother, lots of self-doubt, and eventual triumph--the American way.

30 review for Battle Hymn of the Tiger Daughter

  1. 4 out of 5

    Deborah Markus

    I need a reality check on one thing. What does the title of this book say to you? I assumed it was a book by the daughter of an Amy Chua-type mom. It isn't. It's by a mom and her teenaged daughter. Well, technically it's all by the mom, but she interviews her daughter and then weaves her answers together into coherent chapters. I wasn't sure I'd like it at first. The whole first chapter is a smug, pompous brag about how Diana Holquist totally rejects the tiger-mom ethos and lets her children watch I need a reality check on one thing. What does the title of this book say to you? I assumed it was a book by the daughter of an Amy Chua-type mom. It isn't. It's by a mom and her teenaged daughter. Well, technically it's all by the mom, but she interviews her daughter and then weaves her answers together into coherent chapters. I wasn't sure I'd like it at first. The whole first chapter is a smug, pompous brag about how Diana Holquist totally rejects the tiger-mom ethos and lets her children watch TV and play video games, and those kids are still mad overachievers. Swell. She rattles off examples of her kids' amazingness, giving a looong paragraph to each of them. Then she chides readers for being impressed: The second reason my kids are awesome is that I don't care about achievement. That dull list of exploits I rattled off a few pages back? Those accomplishments are the least interesting aspects about any of us. I almost stopped reading right there, but the book's short and I did pay for it. Still -- wow, was that above and beyond the call of obnoxious. Your kids get straight A's; one of them plays elite-level soccer, and also the cello; the other does every kind of handicraft under the sun, plays the viola well enough to be invited to join her school's chamber orchestra, and is already earning scholarships to take classes at "a prestigious art college," as well as running her own business selling handcrafted fashion accessories -- oh, but it's just too boring to focus on these trivial aspects of their lives. Insert barfy-face emoticon here. (And for the record, people have aspects. Saying something is an aspect "about" someone is weird and wrong.) Still, I gave this book three stars, and would have given it four if it hadn't been for moments like this one. Because this book became a lot of fun to read almost immediately after this admittedly painful chapter. Although first it got kind of misleading. Holquist explains that she read some of Amy Chua's book to her kids. They all got a good laugh out of it. Holquist asks them if they wish she would be tougher on them, like the tiger mother. Conditional yes: each kid wishes Mom would be tougher on the other kid, which is pretty funny, as is her son's suggestion that a book about her should be called Off-key Ditty of the Sloth Mother. Then Sloth Mother makes a confession: "You know," I told my kids. "It might surprise you guys, but I used to a tiger mother." Yes, she left out the word "be." There are a few such minor but irritating errors throughout the book. Later, in an otherwise wonderful passage, Holquist tells her readers, "You have to love your children for whom they are." Some writers think that "whom" is the intelligent version of "who," rather than just another word that it's sometimes correct and sometimes incorrect to use. (For the record, this sentence is the pronoun equivalent of saying "Love him for who him is.") But I digress. The point of the passage above is that Holquist insists she's a reformed tiger mother. And she really isn't. Being a tiger mother isn't about believing that your baby is the most amazing baby ever born. This sort of localized insanity is expected, at least in America, and amusing as long as it doesn't get out of hand. A tiger mother wouldn't spend time watching her baby cooing and decide that her baby cooed the best of all the babies in her play group (as Holquist does, quite entertainingly). A tiger mother would never think her child was the best. She'd tell her child that she'd better be the best – the best when it came to school, and playing the piano or violin, and competing in the science fair, and scoring the highest on all possible tests. A tiger mother wouldn't tell her daughter, "No one cares if you miss a note" at a violin recital. A tiger mother would have died of shame – or, more realistically, demanded her daughter practice more and be given more lessons – if all the other kids who'd started lessons at the same time were songs ahead of her in the first Suzuki violin book. She certainly wouldn't have let the daughter in question quit violin. If a tiger mother got the news from her daughter's teacher that the daughter "isn't learning to read as quickly as we'd like," she wouldn't just let the kid learn at her own pace. She'd sell whatever she needed to, including the house if necessary, to hire whatever tutors were needed to catch her daughter up to grade level and beyond. (Or, more likely, she'd sit down and tutor the daughter herself, for hours and hours and hours every day.) A tiger mother would never say her daughter "can't learn her times tables to save her life." See above re tutoring. She certainly wouldn't smile contentedly as her daughter's teacher taped a multiplication chart to the front of her daughter's notebook. If that teacher told a tiger mother cheerily, "Some kids just can't memorize math facts. No need to torture them," the tiger mother would eat her alive, possibly without bothering to chew. These are all things that happened when Holquist was supposedly in tiger mother mode. The thing is, she tells a terrific story. She's passionate about children being given the chance to shape their own lives and pursue their passions, and she makes her argument forcefully and beautifully. The pain she feels when her daughter Hana struggles both academically and socially is wrenching; and the reader wants to cheer as Holquist learns, step by tiny step, that everything's going to be fine as long as Holquist lays off and lets her daughter sort things out for herself, already. This book would be worth reading just for the story of the birthday spent skating through a frozen forest. I will never forget that, and it didn't even happen to me. I get real live actual chills just thinking about it. But there are plenty of other reasons to pick up Tiger Daughter. This book is a fast, humorous, often moving read that gripped me a lot harder and left me a lot happier than I'd ever expected it to, given that initial unpromising chapter. But please let the record state: Diana Holquist was never a tiger mother. Not even once. Not even a little. Worrying about how your kid's doing in school and wanting the best for her doesn't count, or we'd all be tiger moms. Read this book, especially if you've already read Amy Chua's Battle Hymn. If you haven't, read them both. You'll have a great time, and then you'll have a lot to think about.

  2. 5 out of 5

    MaryPat

    I really liked this book. Thanks Janet! This is a Western mom's version of how to raise successful, smart children w/o yelling, screaming or forcing them to practice an instrument for 5-6 hours. Her children were allowed to be kids. The chapters alternated between the mom and the daughter. I didn't hate this mom like I did the original Tiger mom. I found myself agreeing with a lot of what she said. As a parent, your heart just aches for your child when you see them struggle with friends (especia I really liked this book. Thanks Janet! This is a Western mom's version of how to raise successful, smart children w/o yelling, screaming or forcing them to practice an instrument for 5-6 hours. Her children were allowed to be kids. The chapters alternated between the mom and the daughter. I didn't hate this mom like I did the original Tiger mom. I found myself agreeing with a lot of what she said. As a parent, your heart just aches for your child when you see them struggle with friends (especially girls!) or school work but you have to stand back and let them make their own choices. They may not make the decision you want them to make. That is why is is called growing up! The daughter in this book is not your typical tween. She follows the beat to her own drum. :) The mom was smart to let her do her own thing instead of forcing her to conform to what is popular.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Janet

    I enjoyed it more than the Tiger Mother version! the daughter's POV is interesting. She's a smart girl without parental influence. Mom was smart to let her little ones shine on their own!

  4. 4 out of 5

    Jingau

    Okay, I am really hoping this mother wrote the book just because she was really mad at the tiger mother and she made up a great part of the book to prove her point because if she was telling the truth, nothing but the truth ,I would be so sorry for (and proud of) the tiger daughter who had to survive her own struggling with social and academic issues, and on top of that, help her mother survive her messy motherhood . At the very least, the tiger mother cares about her daughters and puts in every Okay, I am really hoping this mother wrote the book just because she was really mad at the tiger mother and she made up a great part of the book to prove her point because if she was telling the truth, nothing but the truth ,I would be so sorry for (and proud of) the tiger daughter who had to survive her own struggling with social and academic issues, and on top of that, help her mother survive her messy motherhood . At the very least, the tiger mother cares about her daughters and puts in every effort to be as useful and understanding as she can. This mother, however, besides consistently doubting about herself (far less self-assuring than her daughter), people around her, and her daughter, is useless, clueless, careless in upbringing her daughter. What kind of mother is she? Can't be bothered to learn a simple stupid "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in order to help her poor little girl out of frustration? Has no idea what subject areas her daughter was struggling in school? Why hasn't she questioned about why her daughter - a all "A" student - still had an IEP in school? Oh, I might know the answer to that one. She didn't know or care what was on the IEP. What kind of mother doesn't know or care anything about helping her daughter selecting her very first high school courses? Any when she finally discovered that her daughter has the creative talent, what did she do? No, she didn't go around trying to find some professionals to help her daughter enhance her skill like the tiger mother would've done, she was too busy dreaming up a business plan to use her daughter to make money... wow, such a Western style mother! Yes, I am a Chinese mother. No, I am not a tiger mother. My children are not top students but they are good students. They play music and they also play basketball. And I am a teacher working in Western style school. I have seen a lot of tiger mothers with blonde hair and blue eyes and that doesn't bother me as much as some other irresponsible mothers thinking they are above and beyond the others yet they can't be bothered to really try to be a helpful parent in building productive lives for their own children. Oh, I think I just saw one of them... On the second thought, I think I am going to change the two stars to one.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Amanda

    3.5 stars I am not a mom. I may never be a mom. That did not stop me from enjoying this book. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Daughter focuses on debunking the ideal that you must dictate every single aspect of your child's life in order to raise a well-rounded, successful human being. The chapters alternate between mother and daughter's point of view. I enjoyed Diana's honesty throughout her chapters. Never once did she claim to know the secret to raising that perfect child. She simply believes that you 3.5 stars I am not a mom. I may never be a mom. That did not stop me from enjoying this book. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Daughter focuses on debunking the ideal that you must dictate every single aspect of your child's life in order to raise a well-rounded, successful human being. The chapters alternate between mother and daughter's point of view. I enjoyed Diana's honesty throughout her chapters. Never once did she claim to know the secret to raising that perfect child. She simply believes that you should let your child have freedom of choice in their own life. What a novel concept. I was blessed with a similar mother, so I can say I suppose this tactic worked on me. My siblings, though, may be a different story... I adored Hana, Diana's teenage daughter. Her chapters really made me nostalgic for the blue-lipstick-and-multicolored-hair days of my youth. She had a sarcastic wit about her that gave their relationship a sort of Gilmore Girls feel. This book was a quick, enjoyable read for mothers and those without a maternal bone in their bodies (*ahem*) alike. And it may leave you with this weird feeling that you really SHOULD own a unicorn hoodie.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Megan

    This book takes advantage of the passionate discussions around "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother." And though it would appear from the title that this will be a book about a very permissive mother in contrast with Chua's very controlling parenting, this is not the case. The contrast between this book and the Tiger Mother book is that in the T. Mother book, the mother rarely doubts herself and knows exactly what she wants. In this book, the mother constantly doubts herself and worries about her pare This book takes advantage of the passionate discussions around "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother." And though it would appear from the title that this will be a book about a very permissive mother in contrast with Chua's very controlling parenting, this is not the case. The contrast between this book and the Tiger Mother book is that in the T. Mother book, the mother rarely doubts herself and knows exactly what she wants. In this book, the mother constantly doubts herself and worries about her parenting and switches back and forth to different styles. But a further contrast is that the daughter in Tiger Daughter is very determined, in control, and knows EXACTLY what she wants. This book will not make you analyze your own parenting to the degree that Tiger Mother did. But it's still worth reading. Why? Because it's very funny. Because you'll hear your own parental uncertainties in the author's voice and that is affirming.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Njeri

    Easy to read, funny in parts, and a useful book for anyone trying to figure out their parenting philosophy. It is written from both the mother's and daughter's perspectives. Rather than tell people how to parent, the writer shares her own struggles in learning how to be the parent her daughter needs. This was more helpful to me than a list of what to do or not to do to raise a happy child. The gist of this book is that every child is different. It is harder to parent children as individuals, rat Easy to read, funny in parts, and a useful book for anyone trying to figure out their parenting philosophy. It is written from both the mother's and daughter's perspectives. Rather than tell people how to parent, the writer shares her own struggles in learning how to be the parent her daughter needs. This was more helpful to me than a list of what to do or not to do to raise a happy child. The gist of this book is that every child is different. It is harder to parent children as individuals, rather than just control them to be what you want them to be, but it is worth it when done right. The writer also defines success as raising good humans - children who care about other people and are brave enough to follow their dreams. Society does not make it easy to measure this kind of success; it is much easier to count awards and compare grades. Holquist's point is that grades and awards are ok as long as kids have character. As with any "how-to" book, it is to be read with an open mind. Take what you think will work for you and don't fret about the rest. The writer and her daughter are sharing THEIR experience and one size will not fit all.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Jody Curtis

    Enjoyed reading this right after the book that inspired it, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I "got" Amy Chua's sense of humor and I take Chua at her word that she wrote a memoir about her own family and not a handbook of universally recommended child-rearing techniques. But, still. The pushy, Ivy-league-or-die-trying parents are in plentiful supply in my zip code, and they make me nervous. I appreciate and relate to Diana Holquist's parenting experience. My kids are creative and independent thin Enjoyed reading this right after the book that inspired it, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I "got" Amy Chua's sense of humor and I take Chua at her word that she wrote a memoir about her own family and not a handbook of universally recommended child-rearing techniques. But, still. The pushy, Ivy-league-or-die-trying parents are in plentiful supply in my zip code, and they make me nervous. I appreciate and relate to Diana Holquist's parenting experience. My kids are creative and independent thinkers. Despite having earned letter grades other than A, my own children made it on to respectable non-Ivy colleges (Yes, Virginia, there are respectable non-Ivy colleges). I do wish I'd read Diana Holquist's book when my kids were younger. That's when the pressure to push for perfection in academics and sports was most acute. It's easier (as in, acceptable) for students to focus on what they love and what they're good at once in college (unless Tiger parents insist on law school or med school, which is another whole thing).

  9. 4 out of 5

    Tami

    Haven't received my copy yet, just received notice I had won. 2/10/12 Received yesterday 2/25/12 and hope to start soon. Have 4 others plus current read in front. Started and finished this last weekend. 3/18/12 Remember hearing all about the Tiger Mother? Well, this is a story of a former Tiger Mother, whose daughter believes it is the other way around, she is the Tiger Daughter. When I signed up for this giveaway, I thought this would be a novel about how a daughter isn't fitting the stereotype o Haven't received my copy yet, just received notice I had won. 2/10/12 Received yesterday 2/25/12 and hope to start soon. Have 4 others plus current read in front. Started and finished this last weekend. 3/18/12 Remember hearing all about the Tiger Mother? Well, this is a story of a former Tiger Mother, whose daughter believes it is the other way around, she is the Tiger Daughter. When I signed up for this giveaway, I thought this would be a novel about how a daughter isn't fitting the stereotype of her upbringing. I was wrong. It is a parenting book. :) Oh well. I read it and found it to be well written and fun. Not sure it will help anyone that is a parent, I don't have kids and don't ever plan on it, but if it does, Kudos! Hana sounds like a great kid and the world could use a lot more of those.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Elizabeth

    (Has a few swear words.) Good follow-up to Tiger Mother. I don't agree with everything she writes, but I think my parenting style is definitely more is line with hers than with Tiger Mother. I liked the fact that her daughter contributed some chapters. Her philosophy that children will succeed if you just leave them alone to find their own path is true for some children. However, I do believe that some kids need to be forced to engage in life and made to do things they aren't always happy about.

  11. 4 out of 5

    C.P. Lesley

    Love this joint mother/daughter exploration of one family's approach to modern parenting. The distinctive voices of Diana and Hana as they tell their stories and Diana's openness in portraying her own journey away from "tiger mother" expectations and toward acceptance of her daughter's unique brilliance turn this reminder that American families may not be completely hopeless into a compelling read. Look for this book on Amazon.com and in the various e-bookstores. You won't regret it.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Nichole

    Wonderful book. I enjoyed the different points of views, and it really had some hidden gems of wisdom that I wasn't expecting :) Some people have criticized the author in her style, saying that she seemed too wishy-washy, however, I thought her freedom in child rearing brought strength...sometimes the hardest thing in the world to do is just let your child do their thing, instead of yours.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Michelle

    This was a hastily written and poorly edited reaction to "The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother." The book was good because it was comfortable, but I think that also weakens it a bit. Chua's book provoked anger and excitement. This was just an easy read. I really like Hana. Her personality, eagerness for life, and humor bumped this up to a three star book.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Aubrey

    I would definitely recommend reading "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua first.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Dorothy Hensel

    Interesting book, well written; not something I actually related to though

  16. 4 out of 5

    Stijn

  17. 4 out of 5

    Christina

  18. 4 out of 5

    Dana Maier

  19. 4 out of 5

    Jamie

  20. 4 out of 5

    Lynn

  21. 5 out of 5

    Staci

  22. 5 out of 5

    Amy

  23. 4 out of 5

    Celia Lau

  24. 4 out of 5

    Ruchi Chaube

  25. 4 out of 5

    Alicia Joyce

  26. 4 out of 5

    Belinda Williams

  27. 5 out of 5

    Enci

  28. 4 out of 5

    Becky

  29. 4 out of 5

    K

  30. 4 out of 5

    Meilin Yie

Add a review

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Loading...
We use cookies to give you the best online experience. By using our website you agree to our use of cookies in accordance with our cookie policy.